Tonight's Midnight Madness selection, Stake Land is sure to satiate all the real vampire lovers who stuck with True Blood through a season that contained several shark-jumping moments, and those who aren't currently trolling their favourite message boards about how TIFF 2010 selection, Let Me In is soooooooo much worse from the original (spoiler: it's nothing of the sort) while sweeping Cheetos crumbs and drool off their keyboards.
But it got me thinking - we've seen some pretty awesome bloodsuckers in our time that are nothing like the emo halfwits in Twilight. Here's a few that have captured our imaginations and reminded us that being dead just might not be so bad.
#1 Russell Edgington - A new entry on anyone's vampire top five, Russell Edgington was sadly one of the only bright spots of this last season of True Blood. The scene depicted above features the 'Vampire King of Mississippi' despining a news anchor, before declaring war on humanity and trumpeting vampire superiority. It was one of the most riveting TV moments from this year, and hopefully True Blood will turn a corner and provide a few more next season. Basically I just want to see more spine-ripping in general because there's so little of it on The Good Wife.
#2 Charles Bromley - The badass vampire CEO from last year's Midnight Madness selection Daybreakers shocked audiences with a class and sophistication you just don't find in most vampire flicks these days. He wasn't even just evil on an animalistic, blood-sucky level either - this dude sold out his own daughter and tried to harvest the entire human population for food. I think that qualifies him for Bond villain territory.
#34 Abby/Eli - Let Me In's Abby is burdened with the weight of having to live up to another awesome vamp, Let The Right One In's Eli. They are, after all, the same character. But they have their distinctions so I'm being lazy and counting them as two. Abby/Eli is a very, very old vampire in a tiny body, who enlists old men to do her bidding and the very dirty work of getting blood from an unsuspecting gaggle of victims. She doesn't say much, has a disturbing habit of hanging out under bridges, and can definitely come off as cold, but we can't help but love her when all is said and done.
#5 The Count - Not scary? Think again! The Count is one of the scariest dudes on this list for one single reason - he preys almost EXCLUSIVELY on children. Sure, he lures you in with his promise to reveal what comes after the number eight (nobody knows) but once that castle door closes and the Sesame Street cameras stop rolling, The Count is just as viscious and bloodthirsty as the rest. I mean, what do you think happened to Mr Hooper?
Stake Land screening times:
Friday, Sept. 17. 11:59pm Ryerson (tonight!)
Saturday, Sept 18. 12:15pm Scotiabank Theatre 4
Sunday, Sept. 19. 9:00pm AMC 2
Tickets can be purchased at the official TIFF site.