WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: The Case of the Sexy Vampires

In the case of Sexy Male Vampire vs Sexy Male Vampire, Vampire Prosecutor Min Tae-yeon has agreed to arbitrate the dispute. Vampire Prosecutor Min is a member in good standing of the Korean Bar Association as well as the Guild of Infernal, Paranormal and Supernatural Lawyers.

Vampire Prosecutor is prosecuting so hard right now.

To recap, Count Orlok was declared most adorably terrifying vampire, while certain New Zealand vampires declared Deacon from What We Do In The Shadows the sexiest. Dracula continues to maintain he's sexiest.

Vampire Prosecutor Min ruled both Carmilla and Countess Bathory "unsexiest" by default because they disappeared during arbitartion. Human servant Renfield testified in a sworn affadavit that Carmilla and the Countess had slipped away to one of the Countess' special rooms for "special time."

"special time" is in session.

However, actor and MM Alumnus Simon Yam has declared himself not only the sexiest vampire, but also the most handsome, most amazingly dressed vampire and King of the Vampires. And has submitted the following evidence in support of his claim.



But can the so-called King of the Vampires compete with this Prince of Darkness?

Vampires are convinced this is a sexy look.

Or these hot guys?

hotsy-totsy

Or come within three miles of this? 

Could anyone come within three miles of this?

After reviewing seven hours of footage and brooding over the case on his favorite rooftop, Vampire Prosecutor Min he ruled that he himself is not only Sexiest Male Vampire, but Sexiest Vampire.

"Case closed," Vampire Prosecutor says, slipping on his aviators.

Decide for yourself and feel the sexy power of Deacon with the last two screenings of What We Do In The Shadows!

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:
Saturday, Sept 15th 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sunday, Sept 14th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 3

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: Vampire Profiles: Carmilla

Oh, you've got a little schmutz on your lip. Let me get that for you.

Today's the 200th anniversary of the birth of Irish writer Sheridan Le Fanu and with What We Do In The Shadows part of the Madness this year, it's a serendipitous occasion to look at his creation, one of the first, and best, sexy vampires and the industry standard in Lesbian vampires.

"Carmilla" first appeared in a magazine, The Dark Blue, as an illustrated serial recorded by Le Fanu's hero, Dr. Hesselius. It was collected into a novella in 1872. You can read the book in your preferred form at Project Gutenberg.

Carmilla befriends Laura, a lonely young woman living in a castle with her retired father in Styria. As a young girl, Laura dreamed she was bitten on the chest by a beautiful woman. When Carmilla appears on her castle doorstep or on the other side of the portcullis or whatever Laura's schloss has, the young women recognize each other from this dream. And Carmilla bears an uncanny resemblance to an ancestral portrait of Countess Mircalla Karnstein. But, of course, that portrait was painted in 1689 and this resemblance is purely coincidental. How silly to think it is anything more.

The Man does not approve.

Carmilla is as smitten with Laura as she is with anagrams. And instead of dining and dashing, as she had with other, more recent victims, she woos Laura.

She used to place her pretty arms about my neck, draw me to her, and laying her cheek to mine, murmur with her lips near my ear, "Dearest, your little heart is wounded; think me not cruel because I obey the irresistible law of my strength and weakness; if your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours. In the rapture of my enormous humiliation I live in your warm life, and you shall die--die, sweetly die--into mine. I cannot help it; as I draw near to you, you, in your turn, will draw near to others, and learn the rapture of that cruelty, which yet is love; so, for a while, seek to know no more of me and mine, but trust me with all your loving spirit."

But as always, it just doesn't work out between the living and the dead. And in 1872, The Man just can't handle the love between a living lady and a langorous dead one who sleeps in a coffin filled with blood.

There are a whole slew adaptations of the story. Ingrid Pitt portrays Carmilla in Hammer Studio's The Vampire Lovers (1970).



Carl Theodor Dreyer based his 1932 film Vampyr on the story--though with no intra-lady feelings.



Roger Vadim's Blood And Roses (1960) is a stylish adaptation.



 And Carmilla appears in stories as diverse as Vampire Hunter D, Doctor Who and Kim Newman's novel, Anno Dracula. Incidentally, The Guardian published a piece Newman wrote about Sheridan Le Fanu and Le Fanu's influence on horror today and it is totally worth reading.


WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:
Fri. Sept. 12th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Sat. Sept. 13th, 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sun. Sept. 14th, 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK  3

And while the women of The Duke of Burgundy are not vampires, they are Lesbians in love and it is a gorgeous film.

THE DUKE OF BURGUNDY screening times:

Saturday, Sept 6th 10:00 PM TIFF BELL LIGHTBOX 1
Monday, Sept 8th 3:15 PM SCOTIABANK 12