|Ah, the ol' "Eh-2-Zed," where every self-respecting Canadian does their shopping.|
To be completely honest, this post waxing poetic about how much Kevin Smith loves Canada was initially just going to be every episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation that Smith appeared in. Because, as we see it, you've gotta have a huge (and loving, always loving) hard-on for Canada to appear in five episodes and one TV movie of Degrassi: TNG. (What, you've never been on Degrassi before? Hmpf. Must not love Canada that much then...heathen.)
Except, gasp, there aren't even any clips of these episodes online. What sort of travesty is this?! We demand justice! Also, some chocolate bars because demanding justice has made us hungry and lowered our blood sugar! We'll have to settle for this still instead:
|"I love Canada more than you, Paige. Deal."|
In case you're a little lost: Kevin Smith is not Canadian. He is from New Jersey. But he loves Canada and might as well be a Canadian and why haven't we made that happen yet? Not only has he professed and solidified his love for quality Canadian youth programming, but there's this video on YouTube of him playing hockey (the second greatest Canadian past time, with the first being eating poutine and simultaneously listening to Celine Dion) and he's got at least one annoying "that time Air Canada effed me over" story. (Um, guys, we're pretty sure by now he's more Canadian than most of us.) But it doesn't stop there! Have you seen that time he was on Epic Meal Time?!
Smith has definitely fulfilled the necessary amount of times one must say "beaver" to be considered Canadian. Stephen Harper, put down the kitten and hand that man a Canadian Passport, pronto.
Even more exciting than beaver-talk, Tusk takes place in Bifrost, Manitoba and that's real love right there. As the inspiration for the movie initially came from England, Smith could've picked almost anywhere to set his creeptastic story of a man and his walrus but he chose Canada. Maybe you're all, "Well, Canada IS the last place I would want to die," and we see your point and raise you this, kind sir: If that were the case, why is Canadian Treasure Kevin Smith considering Tusk the first part of his "True North Trilogy," a series of films steeped in Canadian culture and myth?! Boom. Mic drop.
The second film in the series, Yoga Hosers stars his and Johnny Depp's daughters (what! what! dying!) as two yoga-loving girls who work at the Eh-2-Zed convenience store and end up fighting for their lives against an evil force so they can get to a sweet party. That might be the craziest sentence we've ever written on this blog, but it's all true. (Just scroll back up to the header image of this blog post if you're doubting us.)
Okay, okay, we know you're getting overwhelmed with all of this Canada talk, but we'll leave you with one last little tidbit: Another project that Canadian Treasure Kevin Smith is working on right now is a TV comedy, called Prons, about a porn star who retires from the biz to his hometown of Brantford, Ontario and Smith also hopes to film it on location as well.
Bless you, Kevin Smith. Bless you.
Tusk is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Midnight Madness Programme. Check out more Midnight Madness films on the official Festival website.
TUSK screening times:Saturday, Sept 6th 11:59 PM RYERSON
Sunday, Sept 7th 9:45 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Friday, Sept 12th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 1