|Have you talked to your doctor about the heartbreak of intimate hauntings?|
It Follows premieres tonight! And we suggest you best take whatever precautions you think practical or advisable. We're not entirely sure what might protect you, but almost anything is better than the heartbreak of colon ghosts, possessed fetuses and anal and/or vaginal hauntings. Seriously, no one wants to hear these words.
|She's going to need a specialist.|
You could wear a sacred symbol or bring a squirt gun full of holy water. Or maybe just "accidentally" spill a circle of protective sea salt around your seat during the screening. And just keep a general eye out for isopods, especially ghost isopods. I don't want to think about what they might do.
|Ghost Isopods could happen at any time|
[Please do not bring squirt guns full of holy water or sprinkle a protective circle of salt around yourself in the theater. The smell of burning ghosts and ectoplasm could disturb other patrons. Thanks. ~The Editor]
IT FOLLOWS screening times:
Sun., Sept. 7th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Tue., Sept. 9th, 4:00 PM, SCOTIABANK 9