THE CHICKENING: Wash Your Hands, People. Wash Your Hands And Pray!

In past years, we at the Midnight Madness blog have warned you of many dangers. The dangers of hooking up with or dating dead people and the heartbreak of "intimate hauntings" (e.g., Dead Girl; It Follows). The dangers of Tony Jaa taking you apart like a chicken with  his powerful and frightening muay thai skills, which we face again this year in SPL 2: A Time For Consequences. (The consequences? Tony Jaa takes you apart like a chicken), The dangers of Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim or Yayan Ruhian (The Raid; Yakuza Apocalypse) taking you apart with their pencak silat and judo skills. The dangers of 3-D-inducing drugs bringing Judge Dredd's justice down on you and Soy Sauce-based drugs just making you see... things you really don't want to. Just last year, we warned you about Murder Scouts. And despite their being our informal Midnight Madness blog mascot, we always have a wary eye on our "friends," the isopods--giant or otherwise.

"Otherwise."

Tonight The Chickening begins this year's Madness. It becomes a part of not only Midnight Madness' history, but a part of a select history, a history of films warning you of dangers to be prepared for. Sure you know about The Birds and I assume you've been briefed on the precautions necessary during a Birdemic, Poultrygeist or even a Thankskilling.

Throw the egg out and wash your hands. Do not touch your mucus membranes.

Abandon your house. Go get Chinese food.

Preparedness is next to Not Getting Your Ass Killed. Sure, Bubo the mechanical owl from Clash of hte Titans is cute. But have to stopped to consider what would happen if Bubo went bad? He has the wisdom of Athena and his cuteness is unstoppable.

Sure, Bubo's cute and helpful, but its name is also evocative of the Bubonic Plague. Best wash your hands.

We haven't heard from Rodan or the Giant Claw in a while, but not so long ago, Bangkok dealt with a very Rodan-like Garuda situation. Does your city have a Giant Bird Preparedness Plan?

Garuda will mess up the Greater Metropolitan Area.

Have you considered all the eventualities of a Roc roosting in a densely populated city? And I'm not talking about the effects of Dwayne Johnson on the native cod population and how that trickles down to depleted fish and chips options. I'm talking about this Roc:

City officials attempt to enforce zoning regulations.

What about this mysterious goose visible for a good while in Harinam Singh's vampire classic Shaitani Dracula? It seems innocent enough--as if it had just wandered into the shot. But it is in a movie about Dracula. Is it some kind of Dracula itself? What is it doing? Should we fear the Goosening?

I think... I think it's looking at us...

And that's not even getting into the more prosaic dangers of, say, Sam the Eagle running a political campaign. (I'm thinking Senate).

Sam's anti-"weirdo" policies would be devastating for Midnight Madness.

But we do have some fine feathered friends on our side. Bubo, probably. Rodan stood up for Earth against King Ghidorah and the alien jerks hiding in our lakes and laughing at human emotions that one time.

 And for every goose Dracula, there is a heroic wonder bird like Sheroo in Dharam Veer. Sheroo the Wonder Bird catches imperiled babies.

Baby saved!

But if you see Mr. Chicken... Goddamn, your goose is cooked. Run. Just run. And we'll pray for you.

My God, he sees us. HE SEES US.

In the meantime, as always, make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after handling poultry products and always cook your chicken to an internal temperature of  74 degrees Celsius or 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

THE CHICKENING screens with GREEN ROOM:

Thu, Sept 10th, 11:59 PM RYERSON
Fri, Sept 11th, 8:45 AM SCOTIABANK
Sat, Sept 12, 2:15 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS

SPL 2: A TIME FOR CONSEQUENCES screens:
Thu, Sept 17, 11:59 PM RYERSON
Fri, Sept 18, 3:30 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS
Sun, Sept 20, 6:30 PM SCOTIABANK

YAKUZA APOCALYPSE screens: 

Fri, Sept 18, 11:59 PM RYERSON
Sat, Sept 19, 3:00 PM SCOTIABANK 2

And for more chickens head over to the Vanguard Program for  MEN & CHICKEN:

Mon, Sept 14, 9:00 PM SCOTIABANK

Wed, Sept 16, 10:00 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

Sun, Sept 20, 3:30 PM SCOTIABANK

The Madness is Spreading!

When I first started attending and working with TIFF back in 2002, Midnight Madness was pretty much known as the darkened corner of the Festival, the miscreant programme that featured the types of films that the other programmes wouldn’t touch.

Since then, the monster factory has brought us directors like Johnnie To, who graced the Midnight Madness screen in 2000 and 2001 with The Mission and Full Time Killer respectively. This year, To’s Office is a part of the prestigious Special Presentations programme, and this action-musical hybrid set among cubicles in an office definitely brings a little Midnight flavour with it.

With Midnight curator Colin Geddes taking the reins of the Vanguard programme, many Midnight directors jump back and forth between the two with ease - exposing their often gory and extreme visions to an audience that may not be so inclined to stay up to the wee hours. Filmmakers like Alex De La Iglesia (My Great Night, 2015) and Takeshi Miike (Over Your Dead Body, 2014), both Midnight Madness mainstays, have had films in Vanguard in the last couple of years - along with Fabrice Du Welz, Mark Hartley and others.

One of the biggest ‘graduations’ from the Midnight programme this year has to be Sarah Silverman, whose 2005 comedy Jesus Is Magic wowed the Ryerson audience for her big TIFF debut.  Since then, Silverman has become an unlikely supporting and leading actor in more serious fare--namely, 2011’s Take This Waltz and this year’s I Smile Back.

And of course, Ben Wheatley, whose organic move through TIFF started with Midnight Madness in 2011 with Kill List, continued through Vanguard in 2012 with Sightseers, brings High Rise to the Platform programme this year. Platform is a juried programme that aims to spotlight and award films from lesser-known directors (though he's already well-known to us Midnighters)--similar to the prizes awarded in Cannes or Berlin. High Rise will compete with 11 other films for the Platform award, and recognition and a big bag of cash that comes with it.

These examples are hardly the first filmmakers that have broken out from the Midnight programme - remember that Midnight Madness boasts early work from Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused, 1993), Peter Jackson (Braindead, 1992), and so many others. But there is a palpable tectonic shift in the sorts of films that are being programmed elsewhere in the Festival, with sci-fi, horror, and the downright surreal taking high-profile spots in the more mainstream programmes. It also means that the filmmakers you're watching this year at Midnight Madness might one day be a Platform nominee, or maybe even a People's Choice winner. I, for, one, hope that the not-yet-announced A Talking Isopod?! will someday take TIFF's top prize.

A TALKING ISOPOD?!?!?!?!

THE EDITOR Premieres Tonight!

The Editor premieres tonight, so pull on your black leather gloves, don your featureless mask and hope that the film can somehow explain your dreams of blood or who that mysterious woman is who you seem to remember but have never met... or so your friends claim...

Does this little girl seem familiar? Is she a Murder Scout?

Is your home filled with mannequins?

Do you dream of strange creatures?

Only The Editor can help you now.


THE EDITOR screening times:
Thu. Sept. 11th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Fri. Sept. 12th, 9:15 AM, SCOTIABANK 3
Sat. Sept. 13th, 6:15 PM, SCOTIABANK 4

IT FOLLOWS Final Screening!

Can't find your car keys? Then bike or take the subway to the Scotiabank theater! Just don't forget your protection--and best get it blessed--because no one wants an intimate haunting.

Not even ghost isopods want intimate hauntings.

IT FOLLOWS Final Screening: 

Tue., Sept. 9th, 4:00 PM, SCOTIABANK 9

IT FOLLOWS Premieres Tonight!

Have you talked to your doctor about the heartbreak of intimate hauntings?

It Follows premieres tonight! And we suggest you best take whatever precautions you think practical or advisable. We're not entirely sure what might protect you, but almost anything is better than the heartbreak of colon ghosts, possessed fetuses and anal and/or vaginal hauntings. Seriously,  no one wants to hear these words.

She's going to need a specialist.

You could wear a sacred symbol or bring a squirt gun full of holy water. Or maybe just "accidentally" spill a circle of protective sea salt around your seat during the screening. And just keep a general eye out for isopods, especially ghost isopods. I don't want to think about what they might do.

Ghost Isopods could happen at any time

[Please do not bring squirt guns full of holy water or sprinkle a protective circle of salt around yourself in the theater. The smell of burning ghosts and ectoplasm could disturb other patrons. Thanks. ~The Editor]

IT FOLLOWS screening times:
Sun., Sept. 7th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Tue., Sept. 9th, 4:00 PM, SCOTIABANK 9

Win Tickets With Our Sinister Selfie Contest!

Midnight Madness Judges prepared to evaluate the entries!

Got your Midnight Madness 25th Anniversary t-shirt? Well, you can enter our Sinister Selfie contest and win tickets to a Midnight Madness or Vanguard film screening!

Just take a picture of yourself in your Midnight Madness 25th Anniversary t-shirt, share it with us on Facebook or Twitter and the best pictures win a pair of tickets to one of these screenings!

Why Don't You Play in Hell on Sept. 14th @ 3:45pm
Proxy on  Sept. 14th @ 8:00pm
R100  on Sept. 14th @ 9:00pm
Witching And Bitching on Sept. 15th @ 12:00pm

And as a Grand Prize, tickets to one of the films in TIFF Bell Lightbox's Cronenberg Sidebar, "Psychoplasmic Panic: Cronenberg and the Rise of Body Horror" running from November 2 to December 21.

Curated by Colin Geddes, International Programmer for the Toronto International Film Festival, this 10-film sidebar to the David Cronenberg retrospective traces the emergence of the "body horror" genre in the work of such Cronenberg contemporaries as Brian De Palma, Ken Russell and John Carpenter, and recent films by some of Cronenberg's fearlessly transgressive cinematic offspring.

 So get sharing your Sinister Selfies!

"I am totally a human being. Give me tickets now."

OCULUS: Cover Your Mirrors!

Ian Goring: "Was I the only one?"

MM Photographer Ian Goring went home and covered his mirror right after the premiere of Oculus. I doubt he was the only one.  You still have time before the screenings tomorrow and Sunday. It really is best to be proactive in this matters. So: Cover your mirrors!

Also, since we really don't know what is going to happen in The Afflicted tonight here are some basic proactive measures to take:

Do not touch unidentifiable goo!  (Do I even need to tell you not to eat it?)

Even the poster tells you not to!

Stay away from "Blood Glaciers!"

See that? Stay away!

Do not experiment on apparently dead alien creatures you discover--and if your boss makes you and you really think its necessary, wear protective clothing and keep the critter contained. You don't want that in you.

This antarctic giant isopod stands for all things that could get in you.

Do not annoy old women, and if you do, immediately apologize.

"I aplogize for my thoughtless and cruel remark about your dentures."

And most of all: Stay away from dead ladies wherever you find them--naked on gurneys, naked in space ships, in decaying forest mansions wearing fashions from 300 years ago.

This here? This is really bad waiting to happen.

This is not a drill.
  
 

THE AFFLICTED Screening Times:

Monday, Sept 9th, 11:59 PM RYERSON

Wednesday, Sept 11th, 8:45 PM SCOTIABANK 9

OCULUS Screening Times:

Tuesday, Sept 10th, 4:15 PM SCOTIABANK 14

Sunday, Sept 15th, 6:00 PM SCOTIABANK 11

 

THE STATION Screening Times:

Friday, Sept 13th, 9:15 PM SCOTIABANK 9

 

WITCHING AND BITCHING Screening Times:

Saturday, Sept 14th, 11:59 PM RYERSON

Sunday, Sept 15th, 12:00 PM SCOTIABANK 14

Tweets of the Day! #mmadnesstiff

There's been isopods in my internets for the past few days but I dumped a crapton of chlorine into my keyboard and it seems to be working now.  Which means it's time to check in with Twitter to see what the Midnight Madness audience has been saying about The Bay, Come Out And Play, and The ABCs of Death!

OMG WTF BBQ LOL!

Say hello next time! He doesn't bite (unless he catches you texting during a movie)!

Aw!

So very true.  Those beach balls are not to be messed with.

 The very last screening for Midnight Madness 2012 is TONIGHT! Don't miss John Dies At The End!

Remaining Midnight Madness Screening Times:

JOHN DIES AT THE END
Sat., Sept. 15th, 11:59 PM RYERSON
Sun., Sept. 16th, 6:00 PM CINEPLEX YONGE & DUNDAS 7


THE ABCS OF DEATH
Sun., Sept. 16th, 9:00 PM SCOTIABANK 9


HELLBENDERS
Sat., Sept. 15th, 9:15 PM SCOTIABANK 2

AFTERSHOCK
Sun., Sept. 16th, 3:30 PM CINEPLEX YONGE & DUNDAS 9

Who Wasn't On THE BAY Red Carpet? Isopods!

one of the faces of The Bay.

The real stars of Barry Levinson's The Bay couldn't make the premiere last night, isopods.  It's sad, but ease your disappointment with the knowledge that giant isopods are out there working hard for their fans.

Glamor shot for Sea Floor Vogue

Chilling on the set of The Bay.

Enjoying craft services.

Obviously, these isopods are also making a reference to Songs About Giant Isopods smash hit, "Giant Isopods Ate My Well-Known Brand of Corn Chip!"

Doing... that...

 

THE BAY screening times: 
Thurs., Sept. 13th, 2:45 PM CINEPLEX YONGE & DUNDAS 6

Songs About Giant Isopods! Really!

Kick back and groove!

Holy Bathynomus Gigantaeus! Check out this album of songs about giant isopods! Click through for the play list!

all these bands are beloved by isopods!

Also, there is a video for "Giant Isopods Ate My Well-Known Brand of Corn Chip!"





THE BAY screening times:
Wed., Sept. 12th, 11:59 PM RYERSON
Thurs., Sept. 13th, 2:45 PM CINEPLEX YONGE & DUNDAS 6