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| Don't worry; if you have Colon Ghost we'll figure it out together! |
It Follows, screening at the
Toronto International Film Festival's Midnight Madness programme, is about that awkward moment when you realize your date gave you a sexually transmitted ghost haunting. In
The Shining, Jack Torrance made out with that rotted thing in the bathroom only to find out it was actually en evil spirit, and there was that scene in
Ghostbusters where the ghost gives Stantz a blowjob, but I'm not sure that there's ever been anything quite like
It Follows.
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| Wait! Come back! I don't know how to love! |
That doesn't mean
It Follows doesn't draw on a rich legacy of
spectrophilia, which, according to Wikipedia is in part, "the phenomenon of sexual encounters between ghosts and humans." You doubt that's a thing? Well,
the Travel Channel says otherwise in their discussion of Gilgamesh and the legends of the incubus and succubus (and we always trust the Travel Channel about these sorts of things). Yeah, you know, the incubus and the succubus! Also known as "that movie in Esperanto with
William Shatner" and "that TV show with Anna Silk on Showcase."
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| Lost Girl: Gimme that chi, baby. |
According to
Haunted America Tours, one is especially vulnerable to sexual hauntings after one has seen a supernatural event. The site advises that there are dangers such as:
- The fear that a ghost my try to possess you at the moment of climax
- Anxiety about a ghost entering your womb or (if you are a man) anus
- Fear of getting pregnant and having the ghost possess your unborn baby
- In men, the fear that they may have brought home a ghost that might haunt their anus, or infect their partner
- Colon ghost
- The feeling that the ghost has followed you home and is watching you!
Listverse has also handily provided a rundown of the "Top Ten Sex Demons" that may pose a problem in our love lives. There's the Popobawa, a "large, bat-like creature with one eye and a very large penis" as well as the Alp, which is similar to an incubus or succubus, but more elf-like.
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| The one-eyed, horny flying sex demon. |
Such helpful information can be found on the Interent! Thank you, Haunted America Tours and Listverse; if only Jay from
It Follows had read these articles beforehand. Don't make that same mistake. Keep these guidelines in mind before you watch the movie.
IT FOLLOWS screening times:
Sun., Sept. 7th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Tue., Sept. 9th, 4:00 PM, SCOTIABANK 9
