WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: 5 Tips For Living With Your Vampire Roomies

Ah, what a happy, healthy vampire household. This, too, can be yours!

So maybe you've found yourself recently undead and more or less vampiric (definitely more) and rooming with other vampires. Yeah, you could live alone but that's lonely and sad and sharing your space with a group of fellow vampires can be a very rewarding experience. But living with other vampires is no easy task. Some days you may find yourself hiding in your coffin just to escape the madness. You're stuck with these guys for all eternity now so you need to learn how to make the most of it. Um, yeah, we guess you could move. But, packing. Ugh. Who wants to pack, right? Right. We've got five basic tips for making the most of your vampire roomie situation.

Make sure all of your roomies are taking turns with chore duties.
And a good pair of gloves will keep your skin soft!

1. Take care of your house. 

If you've been kicking around for hundreds of years, you've probably accumulated a lot of things. We're not saying get rid of your knick-knicks. We love knick-knacks! And your collection of socks from victims of the Black Plague is a great conversation starter anyway. But if you don't keep up your house, they'll be nobody coming over to see your collection anyway. Nobody likes a messy, unkept home, not even vampires. There are a lot of ways you can keep a beautiful home: maybe a cleaning schedule with your roomies will work or you'll enlist the help of your familiars. Either way, make sure to dust regularly because you'd be surprised how hard getting hundreds of years worth of grim off of furniture can be. Being aware of the integrity of your home is of upmost importance as well. Imagine if one of your black-out curtains fell down from a faulty curtain rod and let sunlight into your room while you were sleeping? We shudder at the thought.

We can't recommend investing in a vacuum more. It'll make cleaning up a breeze.

2. Respect each other. 

That human Aretha Franklin had the right idea with her song "Respect" (dang, what a great tune). Every vampire is different and you need to respect your roomies' life choices. We all come from different vampiric backgrounds. You may be living with vampires from the 1300s or 1700s or even just last week. With all of these different backgrounds, though, come different personalities, customs, even sleeping habits. You may be a classic coffin-sleeper but your roomie may prefer to sleep hanging upside down in a closet. Sure, it may be strange to you but don't try to impose your own vampiric beliefs on your roomies—it'll just end badly. And trust us, your customs may seem totally normal but we guarantee you they're wigging your roomies out.

Everyone loves a good vampire joke. Oooo, floating spoon! 

3. Make time to do activities together. 

As important as it is to respect each other's customs, it's also a good idea to plan some activities to do together so you can get to know each other. How awkward would it be to live hundreds of years with the same vamps and not even learn their favourite pastime, right? Maybe you'll start a book club or all take up knitting or go club hopping together—the world is your brimming glass of blood! (Humans would normally say "oyster" but that, like all food, is disgusting.) Whatever you do will be a great way to bond with your roomies. We personally recommend setting aside a night to get out of the house. It's a good excuse to put on your favourite ruffly blouse and track down some fresh food. Or dance at clubs. Either or.

Getting out and partying can be a great way to get rid of hundreds of years of tension.

4. Clean up after yourself. 

This one should be obvious but, please, clean up after your meals. Do you know how much harder it is to get blood out of hardwood flooring when it's been sitting for days? And it will start to attract flies and once that happens it's all downhill. Listen, we all know how easy it is to loose yourself in a delicious meal. That neck, that blood, mmm. But be mindful that you share your space with other vamps and having a bloodstained, infested home is just gross. You could try putting down newspaper or tarp before going in for the kill or creating a "blood room" with easy-to-clean tile walls and flooring and equipment to hang your meals and drain them of their blood for later consumption. This is a also great option for a fancy party as you can store the blood in jugs and serve it in that lovely stemware you acquired during Queen Elizabeth I's reign.

That rug is vintage. Don't you dare get blood on it!

5. Get the internet.

Or, you know, a hobby. Eternal life is long and having nothing to do will make it even longer. You so don't want to be that whiny, sad vamp that wanders around the house doing nothing either. Womp, womp. Nobody likes a sad-sack vampire. And we don't judge: if your idea of a great way to pass the time is reading Dan Brown novels, go for it. As long as you're happy.

Get your own vamp fix and learn even more tips about living with vampire roomies at this Festival's screenings of What We Do in the Shadows. We recommend taking notes. Or just seeing it all three times.

What We Do in the Shadows is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Midnight Madness Programme. Check out more Midnight Madness films on the official Festival website!

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:

Friday, Sept 12th 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Saturday, Sept 15th 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sunday, Sept 14th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 3

ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: An Ode to Lucinda Dickey

Goddess, yes. Also possessed by the angry spirit of a ninja this one time. No bigs. 

Lucinda Dickey is a goddess among mere mortals. She stars in three Cannon films: Breakin', Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Ninja III: The Domination. She dances, she kicks ass, she can climb a telephone pole, and she doesn't take crap from anyone. In honour of Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films we present to you, o lucky readers of the Midnight Madness blog, an Ode To Lucinda Dickey! *trumpet sounds* 

"My street name is Special K. What's yours? Thought so."

We first meet Lucinda Dickey as Kelly in Breakin'. This movie is all sorts of bad ass because there's dancing, popping, locking, Ice-T rapping (seriously), even more dancing, the flyest clothes you'll ever lay eyes on, and Christopher MacDonald conducting business. DID WE MENTION THE DANCING?! The low-down: Kelly isn't satisfied with her boring ol' jazz dance class. She meets Turbo and Ozone, discovers her own street name (Special K) and her love of popping and locking. With her new dance crew, nothing can stop them! Not the evil dance crew, Electro Rock, not her old dance instructor, not even those square judges.

Who Lucinda Dickey doesn't take crap from in Breakin': her gross dance instructor, appropriately named Franco, when he gets handsy with her, Ozone and Turbo when they think she might be too square, her agent James for not immediately falling in love with street dancing, that dastardly evil street dancing team, Electro Rock, and those pansy-ass judges for not believing in the gospel of street dancing. WE ARE NOT WORTHY, LUCINDA DICKEY. 

"Hey, it says right here you wish you were as cool as me." 

And because we didn't get enough in Breakin', Special K, Ozone, and Turbo are back in Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo! We have no idea how much time has past since we last left our intrepid street dancers. A week? Months? Either way, we imagine this is how it went down in that first pre-production meeting:

"We need more dancing in this one. How can we do that?"

"Well, the problem is there's a plot and we can only have so many dance numbers within the plot."

"Eh, but do we need a plot?"

"Um..."

"Get rid of the plot! Less plot! More dancing!"

"Yessir."

"Also, get me some bulldozers! And dancing pregnant ladies!"

"Okay?"

"And make sure Ice-T shouts more in this one!"

"On it!"

And so it was done and Breakin' 2 was born. Amen. Sometimes sequels aren't as good, but this one increases the number of amazing Lucinda Dickey outfits by at least 300%, and also has at least once dance sequence every ten minutes, and introduces a much crazier plot line involving a community centre being shut down by The Evil Man (Oh no!) and the crew must dance to save it (Yeah!). And don't forget the dancing pregnant ladies we mentioned. 

Who Lucinda Dickey doesn't take crap from in Breakin' 2: her stupid chorus dancing gig because blah, the lame-o chicks who try to tell her she doesn't belong with Ozone (say what?!), The Man, the bulldozers that The Man brings to the community centre, her parents for not believing in her, the guy her parents want her to marry but he is such a square (gross, mom!), and every hater who didn't think the crew could raise enough money to save the community centre. Take that, jabrones. WE BOW DOWN TO YOU, LUCINDA DICKEY. 

"Hey, Ozone? Yeah, sorry, I'm being a ninja right now. BBL!"

Lucinda took a break from dancing and started ninja fighting instead. Maybe you're all, "What?!" but it's your skepticism that would've prevented us from the gem known as Ninja III: The Domination. Lucinda plays Christie, a mild mannered telephone maintenance working slash aerobics instructor (we knew she couldn't totally stay away from the spandex) who gets obsessed by the spirit of an angry ninja who takes over her body and goes on a killing spree to avenge his death. Also, she pours a can of V8 on herself at one point which we admit kind of confused us at first but she's Lucinda Dickey and she can do whatever she wants. You know, like sweating it out at the gym followed by a quick murder sesh in the hot tub. Just your typical Wednesday night. 

Who Lucinda Dickey doesn't take crap from in Ninja III: that cop who was hitting on her and being a skeeze but then she changed her mind and made him lick V8 off her chest but it was her decision so that's cool, the ninja-murdering cop that she struck down in the hot tub, the ninja-murdering cop she struck down in his home, all the rest of those ninja-murdering cops, that tree she climbed like it was nobody's business, the Black Ninja for putting his spirit inside of her because nobody puts their ninja spirit inside of Lucinda Dickey without asking permission, and mystic James Hong for trying to take the spirit out of her because nobody takes a spirit out of Lucinda Dickey unless she's good and ready. YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF OUR LIVES, LUCINDA DICKEY. 

Uh, the best way to get your daily intake of vegetables might be to ingest it. 

If you love Lucinda Dickey as much as we do, you've probably already marked your calendar for the midnight screening of Electric Boogaloo. If not, what are you waiting for?! Do it for Special K, Ozone, and Turbo. Do it for dancing. Do it for that can of V8. But most importantly, do it for yourself.

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Midnight Madness Programme. Check out more Midnight Madness films on the official Festival Website.

ELECTRIC BOOGALOO screening times:

Monday, Sept 8th 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Wednesday, Sept 10th 9:00 AM, THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Sunday, Sept 14th 12:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 14

Kevin Smith Hearts Canada!

Ah, the ol' "Eh-2-Zed," where every self-respecting Canadian does their shopping. 

To be completely honest, this post waxing poetic about how much Kevin Smith loves Canada was initially just going to be every episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation that Smith appeared in. Because, as we see it, you've gotta have a huge (and loving, always loving) hard-on for Canada to appear in five episodes and one TV movie of Degrassi: TNG. (What, you've never been on Degrassi before? Hmpf. Must not love Canada that much then...heathen.)

Except, gasp, there aren't even any clips of these episodes online. What sort of travesty is this?! We demand justice! Also, some chocolate bars because demanding justice has made us hungry and lowered our blood sugar! We'll have to settle for this still instead:

"I love Canada more than you, Paige. Deal."

In case you're a little lost: Kevin Smith is not Canadian. He is from New Jersey. But he loves Canada and might as well be a Canadian and why haven't we made that happen yet? Not only has he professed and solidified his love for quality Canadian youth programming, but there's this video on YouTube of him playing hockey (the second greatest Canadian past time, with the first being eating poutine and simultaneously listening to Celine Dion) and he's got at least one annoying "that time Air Canada effed me over" story. (Um, guys, we're pretty sure by now he's more Canadian than most of us.) But it doesn't stop there! Have you seen that time he was on Epic Meal Time?!

Smith has definitely fulfilled the necessary amount of times one must say "beaver" to be considered Canadian. Stephen Harper, put down the kitten and hand that man a Canadian Passport, pronto. 

Even more exciting than beaver-talk, Tusk takes place in Bifrost, Manitoba and that's real love right there. As the inspiration for the movie initially came from England, Smith could've picked almost anywhere to set his creeptastic story of a man and his walrus but he chose Canada. Maybe you're all, "Well, Canada IS the last place I would want to die," and we see your point and raise you this, kind sir: If that were the case, why is Canadian Treasure Kevin Smith considering Tusk the first part of his "True North Trilogy," a series of films steeped in Canadian culture and myth?! Boom. Mic drop. 

The second film in the series, Yoga Hosers stars his and Johnny Depp's daughters (what! what! dying!) as two yoga-loving girls who work at the Eh-2-Zed convenience store and end up fighting for their lives against an evil force so they can get to a sweet party. That might be the craziest sentence we've ever written on this blog, but it's all true. (Just scroll back up to the header image of this blog post if you're doubting us.)

Okay, okay, we know you're getting overwhelmed with all of this Canada talk, but we'll leave you with one last little tidbit: Another project that Canadian Treasure Kevin Smith is working on right now is a TV comedy, called Prons, about a porn star who retires from the biz to his hometown of Brantford, Ontario and Smith also hopes to film it on location as well. 

Bless you, Kevin Smith. Bless you. 

Tusk is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Midnight Madness Programme. Check out more Midnight Madness films on the official Festival website.

TUSK screening times:

Saturday, Sept 6th 11:59 PM RYERSON
Sunday, Sept 7th 9:45 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Friday, Sept 12th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 1

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: Sundance Buzz!

The funniest movie of the year: brought to you by these incredibly cool dudes. 

We're not sure if we even need to get you guys more excited about the Canadian Premiere of What We Do in the Shadows but we're gonna do it anyway. If you feel your levels of excitement reaching dangerous levels, have a pudding break. You earned it.

What We Do in the Shadows premiered at Sundance this past January and it's pretty safe to say that everybody loved it. The vampire flick screened to packed houses and the Q&As that followed were almost funnier than the movie.

Drew McWeeny of HitFix described the film as having "brutally silly majesty" (Uh, can we steal that for our Twitter bio?) and went on say:

Of all the horror-comedies I've seen here this year (and it's been a pretty solid crop overall), "What We Do In The Shadows" is easily the funniest, and it's because of how completely they engage with their subject matter. This isn't just a "Scary Movie" style regurgitation of images or scenes from other movies. This is a deep excavation of archetype, and in scene after scene, they find smart, character-driven ways to build extended riffs on both the mundane annoyances of modern life and the various ways we've approached vampires over the years.

Hilarious AND with a high-five to actual vampire lore? We're just glad to hear they won't be sparkly. Phew.

Ryland Aldrich of Twitch Film adds:

...this mockumentary showcases the talent of some of New Zealand's most hilarious comedians and is sure to have you laughing until you bleed.

What?! We love laughing until we bleed! Everybody, we'll just call in sick to work the next day, alright? Good plan, good plan. And, check out this intimate fireside chat where the filmmakers and cast muse about who actually are the vampires (we're looking at you, Hollywood) and explain how one edits a film.

We're hoping you can handle a litttllleeee bit more excitement because to end off this delicious, tasty post, we've put together some of our favourite tweets from during Sundance. Below that you'll find all the screening information so that you can join us and hopefully laugh yourself right to the hospital for internal bleeding. If you're on the ol' Twitter, follow the film's account for even more tasty updates: @DeliciousNecks. 

What We Do in the Shadows is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Midnight Madness Programme. Check out more Midnight Madness films on the official Festival website!

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:

Friday, Sept 12th 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Saturday, Sept 15th 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sunday, Sept 14th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 3

Festival Trailer Mash-Up 2014!

Midnight Maniacs, steady yourselves because we have five hours of pure, concentrated TIFF film trailers concentrated into a pure and beautiful three minutes and five seconds by the amazing videographer, Aaron Van Domelen.

Ready?

Let's go...