WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: The Case of the Sexy Vampires

In the case of Sexy Male Vampire vs Sexy Male Vampire, Vampire Prosecutor Min Tae-yeon has agreed to arbitrate the dispute. Vampire Prosecutor Min is a member in good standing of the Korean Bar Association as well as the Guild of Infernal, Paranormal and Supernatural Lawyers.

Vampire Prosecutor is prosecuting so hard right now.

To recap, Count Orlok was declared most adorably terrifying vampire, while certain New Zealand vampires declared Deacon from What We Do In The Shadows the sexiest. Dracula continues to maintain he's sexiest.

Vampire Prosecutor Min ruled both Carmilla and Countess Bathory "unsexiest" by default because they disappeared during arbitartion. Human servant Renfield testified in a sworn affadavit that Carmilla and the Countess had slipped away to one of the Countess' special rooms for "special time."

"special time" is in session.

However, actor and MM Alumnus Simon Yam has declared himself not only the sexiest vampire, but also the most handsome, most amazingly dressed vampire and King of the Vampires. And has submitted the following evidence in support of his claim.



But can the so-called King of the Vampires compete with this Prince of Darkness?

Vampires are convinced this is a sexy look.

Or these hot guys?

hotsy-totsy

Or come within three miles of this? 

Could anyone come within three miles of this?

After reviewing seven hours of footage and brooding over the case on his favorite rooftop, Vampire Prosecutor Min he ruled that he himself is not only Sexiest Male Vampire, but Sexiest Vampire.

"Case closed," Vampire Prosecutor says, slipping on his aviators.

Decide for yourself and feel the sexy power of Deacon with the last two screenings of What We Do In The Shadows!

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:
Saturday, Sept 15th 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sunday, Sept 14th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 3

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: Vampire Profiles: Dracula

"Hey, baby. How 'bout we go for a bite?"

From Vlad Țepeș to Count Dracula starting in 1897, Dracula has had a lot of looks over the years. (And I'm sure he would argue that all of them were sexy, Deacon!) And Dracula certainly had some sexy-times--or at least his brides did, if you go by Bram Stoker's novel.

In the moonlight opposite me were three young women, ladies by their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I must be dreaming when I saw them, for, though the moonlight was behind them, they threw no shadow on the floor. They came close to me, and looked at me for some time, and then whispered together....All three had brilliant white teeth that shone like pearls against the ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina’s eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.

On the other hand, that was from Jonathan Harker's journal (via Project Gutenberg) and perhaps Dracula had been kicked to the spare coffin storage room, which would explain why he was moving to London without his brides and in the market for new brides.

His mustache was good enough for the ladies of the mid-Fourteen Hundreds.

Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia had some extraordinarily cool titles and a sweet patronym. His father was Vlad II of the Order of the Dragon (inarguably cool) who was granted the surname, "Dracul" and "Dracula" is Vlad III's patronym. He's also a "three-time Voivode of Wallachia." Which, again, cool. So that had to ease the pain of whatever marital difficulties he had in the 1890s.

Of course, he also had a penchant for impalement that he felt worked out great for Christendom, but really freaks everyone out. I assume he had some stuff to work out because by the Victorian Era, he's just doing regular vampire things--turning ladies into vampires, making guys eat flies, taking the form of a wolf and concealing the hair on his palms.

Please enjoy this look at Dracula through the years!

Can you find the vampire in this crowd of sophisticated Thirties gentlemen?

And here he is--also in 1931.




In 1970, he tried out the 'stache again. (Or is it 1890. It's hard to say...)



In Dracula contends with that ne're-do-well poser Johnny Alucard and his fashion in 1972.



And here he is again in 1972.

Soy Dracula, tambien

Also, Dracula... note the thicker hair.



And this video features many of his more extreme fashion experiments.



I'm not sure what he's doing here. No sexy times at all. Maybe he finally went loco in 2000?


Or will we see him again soon? Say at midnight tonight?

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screening times:
Friday, Sept 12th 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Saturday, Sept 15th 9:30 PM, SCOTIABANK 12
Sunday, Sept 14th 3:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 3